illness overachiever?

that's what my mom called me. Because I don't just have a cold...no, I have bronchitis! So that whole emotion-manifesting-as-illness thing is bunk; I'm just plain sick. But I will get some drugs tonight and be allllll better soon. Or at least that's what I'm telling myself.

Tomorrow marks the first day I can really start worrying about graduate school. Though I'm still worrying now. People are starting to hear from Ph.D programs, though not in my field. I just want to know! This waiting game is less than fun, I must say.

And being sick and unable to sleep as much or as well as I'd like leaves me crabby, cranky, and hypercritical. Which means that people I like generally don't like me very much, and truth be told, I don't like me very much. It's no good. Illness just wears down my defenses and my screens and just drives me into letting loose with impulses I can generally control--impulses about saying things that I know aren't right and that are unneccessary and hurtful, and then if somone has the gall to call me on it, I get defensive and have no sense of humor whatsoever.

Needless to say, working at Admissions this morning may not have been the brightest idea ever. Granted, there are lots of dumb things that Admissions does that screw me over when I'm on phones. Like sending out mass-mailing postcards about people's apps being incomplete when, in fact, their apps ARE complete. Rahr. Cramps my style. And parents just suck. I'm glad my parents weren't that dumb.

Anyhow, despite my altered condition, I still have work to do.

Dammit.